Empty

Apparently this is going to be what I do when I feel really REALLY crappy. Oh well... gotta vent it out somehow...

So. I think I may be depressed. I feel so... empty... lately. Sure I have moments when I'm happy, but overall, I just feel miserable. I'm seriously considering seeking counseling but when the eff would I have time for something like that? It just doesn't seem to matter where I am or what I'm doing, I always feel so alone. I know this sounds terrible but a lot of times when I'm by myself, I sit here and think of the best, easiest, and quickest way to just end it all. It's not that I don't think anyone cares about me... I know they do... it's just... I don't know how to say it.

When you're in a relationship, you just know that there's someone there that loves you. Only you. No matter what. They're crazy about you and you don't have to do anything except be you. I miss having my rock like that. I just can't seem to pull myself out of this funk by myself. I'm at a loss.

I just need my someone. Not just want. I literally need him. I need him to be my salvation. To save me from myself. To give me a reason to get up everyday and carry on living. Wherever he may be... I hope he finds me soon... I'm scared of it being too late. :-(